Dude, Or Douchebag: Bronco

Posted on June 18, 2013 by motorheadmama

This week, in honor of the 19th Anniversary of the OJ Simpson freeway chase, I would like to salute the Dudes & the Douchebags that have driven this classic Amerian vehicle.

When I met my husband, he drove a Bronco– it stank like day old Big Macs and even older moldy wetsuits (hands off, ladies, he's all mine) which is precisely what a Bronco is for, enjoying the magic that is the Southern California lifestyle.  Apparently, a Bronco is also well suited for zooming up the 405 while you create your alibi for your wife's murder, but I digress…

Thanks to the short expiration date on the American memory, the classic Bronco is back and being restored right and left.  You've got your matte black in Santa Monica:

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To your moss green in West Hollywood:

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And because this is one of the few popular American vehicles that hasn't been remade (yet), I am delighted to see these guys fixing up their Broncos and parading them around the streets of LA.  Total Dudes.

Especially when they do manly things like go to Home Depot:

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Right on.

But what is a Douchebag move is Beverly Hills shopping in the Bronco:

IMG_3201That's lame. 

So to review, it's lumber..yes.  Louis Vuitton..no. Oh and murder, that's bad too. Don't be a Douchebag.

 

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Freak of the Week: Biker Chic

Posted on June 5, 2013 by motorheadmama

Here in Southern California, we grow everything a little differently.  Roses grow like weeds.  Weed grows in rose gardens. And we love to take a great American stereotypes and rip them to shreds.

If I were to say to you that during a local Memorial Day parade, a local mother of five rode through town on her bike, you'd probably expect something like this:

mom-on-bikeOh, so sweet.  

But would you expect this?

photo-2I didn't think so.

So this Heidi. She's a mother of 5, here in LA, riding her Ducati in the local parade.  Patriotic?  Borderline.  Safe? I doubt it.  Freaky? Oh, hell yeah.  And completely bad ass.

Before you get all high and mighty about leathers, helmets, life insurance and responsible parenting– consider the history.  Women motorcyclists have long been pigeonholed as big Berthas on Harleys. God knows, the world still needs them. But how about the fact that the majority of half naked women who get on motorcycles do so to get their picture for a calendar shot– so men can enjoy their motorcycles.  I think it's equally impressive for a middle aged woman to straddle a high performance road bike as a mission to declare her freedom and appreciation for all things fast & vibrational. Ride on, Freaky Mama!

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Hey Ladies: Car Buying Quiz

Posted on May 28, 2013 by motorheadmama

I get a lot of questions from readers about what kind of car they should buy.  Green? High Performance?  Economical? Hell, I dunno– mainly because I don't know you.  So I've created this quiz to help us figure you out:

Question 1: How Does This Picture Make You Feel?

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A. I hate to think what it will do to my hair.

B. I hate to think of its gas mileage. 

C. I hate to think what my kids would do it.

D. I'm gonna need another set of panties.

Question 2: When I say Mario, you say:

A. Lopez

B. Batali

C. Brothers

D. Andretti

Question 3: Your favorite activity in the car is:

A. Re-applying lipstick

B. Listening to NPR

C. Praying the baby falls asleep

D. Smokin' that other guy

Question 4: If you came home & found this in your driveway you would:

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A. Look for the hot guy who parked it there

B. Look for the manual, that thing looks impossible to drive

C. Look for your husband, he needs a beating

D. Look for the Baby Jesus, it's a miracle

Question 5: If you won the lottery tomorrow, your driveway would:

A. Be a lot like Donald Trumps

B. Be exactly the same

C. Be occupied by the safest car money could buy

D. Be a lot like the valet line at Nobu

If you mainly answered:

A. You're a diva.  You need to look good and make sure other people are looking.  I suggest the Fiat 500, BMW 3 series or Mini Cooper. But you'll need to keep the base price low so you'll have enough left over to buy the DIVAME vanity plate, a rhinestone license plate holder and driving gloves.

B. You're pragmatic. You'd probably love a Subaru, Volkswagen Jetta wagon or Prius. But if you want to think outside the box– try a Veggie Oil Mercedes, VW EuroVan or Nissan Leaf. 

C. You're family first. Ain't no shame in that mini van, sister. But if you wanna make it hotter, try the Honda Pilot, BMW X3 or Toyota Highlander. Nobody ever got tired of hearing "Your mom's cool."

D. You're a motorhead. I don't have to tell you what to drive because you're probably already driving it. Your Christmas list features photos from Road & Track. The bowl by your back door looks like it belongs at a 70s key party.  You're the BMW salesguy's best friend. Believe me, I know…

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